An ex pointed out to me that I attract the crazies. And isn't that the truth. I have a horrid history of past relationships, tracing back to the fact that said ex- tried to end our relationship over an instant message when we were engaged to be married; Roger, my best friend in High School and first love used me and tossed me away; my first real relationship was an abusive psycho who still stalks me to this day. Oh and the father of my children told our ex-girlfriend and mother of his other child that I am obsessed with him and he wants nothing to do with me until he needs me because he knows I would always be there for him.
I am 33 years old. I have 2 wonderful, frustrating children. I have never been married, but engaged multiple times. I have been sexually involved with 42 people in my life.
I am sexually confidant. Yet, what does sex do for me but make my life more complicated and feedback my insecurities about love. I am romantically stunted.
But who wouldn't be.
At 12 years old I had my first date, with my male best friend. Nothing ever happened, but I cared deeply for him and continued to do so for over a year. We had a few pseudo dates. He moved away. He and I remained distantly friends.
At 15 years old I started dating my best friend's boyfriend's best friend. Nothing ever happened. He held my thumb once. We only ever doubled with Linda and Roger.
At 17 years old I started tutoring a 15 year old freshman in Latin. He never officially asked me out, but I lost my virginity to him, and fell into an abusive relationship where I was informed that I would marry him, I had no choice. I finally had the nerve to end things when he was in Juvie.
At 18 I slept with my female college closest friend, who whenever she was drunk decided she loved me. If she was sober, I was just her best friend.